


I'll Find You

by vici_diem



Category: Arkham Knight - Fandom, Batman - Fandom, Comic books - Fandom, DC Comics, Jason Todd - Fandom, Red Hood and the Outlaws
Genre: Arkham Knight, Batman - Freeform, DC comics - Freeform, F/M, Jason Todd - Freeform, London, Red Hood and the Outlaws - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:56:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10770372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vici_diem/pseuds/vici_diem
Summary: You had history with Jason Todd. And you had to leave him and get away from him. Until now.





	1. Chapter 1

I didn’t know how it all happened. I was running through the narrow street, whipping out my Oyster card and speeding through the station and towards the underground, ignoring the pain in my lungs after all that running. It wasn’t until I was standing on the platform, amidst the crowd, did I let myself breathe, my knees giving out and I lean against the wall behind me to get a grip. 

It wasn’t as crowded as during a rush hour, but it was filled with tourists nonetheless. Thank god, because I didn’t think I could run some more. I turn my head to the entrance to the platform and I could feel my heart stopped beating for a moment at the sight. He found me. His eyes locked on mine and he was walking towards me, with a smirk on his face. 

Panic started to set in as I backed away slowly, trying to shield myself in the crowd and create as much distance between as possible. And as luck would have it, the Tube arrived at the right time. His eyes widen at the sight, and I could see him stiffen. ‘Don’t do it, don’t do it’, I saw his eyes tried to command me but his commands would not work on me, not anymore. 

A tear slid from my eyes at the frustration. Why can’t he just leave me alone?! I shook my head and ran towards the closing door, barely making it. My hand touched the window as the sight of him standing there, in the platform, with a murderous glint in his eyes as the Tube sped away. 

It wasn’t until the train had fully sped away that I managed to release a puff of breath and relax. The pain from all that running started to hit me like waves. I leaned against the wall of the Tube, trying not to make eye contact at the other passengers even though I could feel their eyes on me, judging my attire. I stared down at myself, still wearing last night’s black dress, barefoot.  
I  
I didn’t know where we were going, all I knew is that I had to get out of this place. I had to get out of this crowd and hopefully find my way back home, somehow. Anywhere but Gotham. And London would be out of the picture, seeing as how he had found me here. I walked out of the train as soon as it stopped, people giving me dirty looks for bumping into them but I didn’t care, I just want to get out of here. 

I ran up the escalator, paranoia gnawing in my chest that he had caught up to me somehow. They didn’t call him the Arkham Knight for no reason. He was trained by Batman himself, and I didn’t want to take a chance. I had to get away from him. 

I only made it as far as outside the Tube station before I caught the sight of him standing on the rooftop of the station. He must’ve seen me as well, for he shouted for my name. I didn’t care, I pretended that I didn’t hear him call out to me as I sped away from him and towards the tunnel. I didn’t even made it far into the tunnel before he caught up to me at a lightning speed, forcefully pulling at the crook of my arm, causing me to turn to face him. 

“I told you I’d catch up to you, didn’t I?” he started, smirking at the sight of me in distress. I glared at him, at his smug face, his messy hair with that white stripe in the middle as if he grew a strand of grey hair from chasing me around the city. 

“Why look so glum? And judging by your tiny physique, who knew you were such a fast runner?” he joked and my palm just flew and hit him across his face so hard, I left a red mark on his cheek. “What’s that for?” he demanded, one hand rubbing the pain, while the other still held a firm grip on my arm. 

“How did you find me here?” I asked, still breathless from all that running. 

“I’m not going to tell you.”

“Then just leave me alone. Why can’t you just fucking leave me alone?!” I shouted, already in hysterics and people were starting to stare at us. He looked around us, before pulling me towards the empty dark tunnel and confessed, “I can’t! I can’t because I need your help.”  
“The elusive and all-mighty Arkham Knight, needing the help of a mere woman. Have the world turned upside down?” I moved closer and I could feel him stiffen. Despite the circumstances of the last time we met, I knew he still harbours a little weakness for me. Men. 

We were staring at each other, with our nose touching, our lips only a breath away. He looked down on my lips, and I smiled at what I was about to do. He thought I had grown soft under his touch. I bit my lip as I rose my leg and kneed him hard on his groin. 

His legs gave out as his grip on my loosened and I shoved his grip away. I moved back a few steps, staring at him crouching on the sidewalk in the tunnel, his face red as he groaned in pain. I must’ve kneed him harder than I thought. Oh well. I just shook my head in pity, before telling him to go fuck himself and disappeared the other way. 

“I’ll find you. Don’t think that I wouldn’t! And when I do, I’ll teach you a lesson you fucking bitch!” he threatened. 

“What, you’re going to put me over your knee? Fuck you!” I shouted back and disappear from his sight.


	2. Chapter 2

One month later:

The rock music is vibrating through the walls, sending waves of adrenaline through my bloodstream even when I haven’t even entered the club. There is no feeling compared to this. The anticipation, the adrenaline. This is what I live for. 

As soon as my heels steps on the ground, I am encountered with a view that I will never see aboveground. The amount of bodies, grinding against each other, sweat glistening their skin in the dark. If someone had turned off the music, or lower its volume, their moans and groans would be audible. Huh. Maybe that’s why the music’s so incredibly loud at places like these. 

I take another step, my eyes automatically drifting towards the bar like an automated robot. The sight of it pulls me there, despite the hordes of people gathering around it like some kind of political rally. I’m going to need a lot of booze for what I’m about to do. 

The idiots hanging there part like the Red Sea as I near. The regulars warning the new ones that they should move away if they didn’t want their heads to be bashed on the bar. I flash all of them a smile and lean against the bar. I didn’t even have to place my order. Once the bartender caught the sight of me, he pours me a glass and hands it to me, shaking his head. I shrug in reply, shouting a ‘thanks’, though it’d sound like a whisper in this noise, and pick up the glass. 

I take one swig, downing half of it and welcome the fire burning down my throat. I close my eyes, enjoying the atmosphere even though my back is facing the dance floor. No, I’m not interested in staring at a bunch of horn-dogs trying to bone with clothes on. What interests me more, is the sight of the blood on the grey walls. 

The people here thought the blood stains were simply red paint. It is only I who knew that the blood stains are real. I remember that day. In fact, it was a few weeks ago. I was standing in the middle of the empty room, pleased with my hard work in painting these grey walls, until I was attacked from the back. These blood stains were the blood of the thugs that I beat up, the thugs that Jason had sent after me, hoping that they’d knock me unconscious and drag my ass back to Gotham. 

A hand tapped on my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine. For some reason, the touch seemed familiar and I freeze. Gathering my liquid courage, I turn to face him and is bombarded with the sinister eyes of Jason Todd. 

He is not wearing his usual Arkham Knight uniform. He’s just Jason, with his disheveled hair, his black leather jacket, jeans and boots. He is grinning at me, mischief glinting on the edge of his eyes. 

“What do you want?” I asked, the words suddenly coming out of my mouth even though I know he wouldn’t be able to hear me through all this noise. 

He raises his index finger, then made a gesture as if to say ‘Come with me’, and proceeded to turn towards the door leading to the back, hidden next to the bar. I shake my head as soon as he turns his head and cross my arms, leaning against the edge of the bar. No way in hell will I follow him anywhere again. 

He immediately realises this, and turns back to me. His grin is gone, and is replaced by frown. The mischief in his eyes faded, replaced with annoyance. He grabs my arm so tight, it’s impossible to break his hold. I struggled against his grip as he pulls me towards the door. I could feel eyes on me as I struggle. They must’ve been shocked to see me being so easily controlled by a single man. 

As soon as the door closed behind us, he pushes me against the cold brick wall. Both of his hands held both of mine, trapping them against the wall like handcuffs. We are both breathing hard as we stare at each other, our breaths joining the night air every time we exhale.   
“We need to talk.” he began. 

“What should we talk about? The weather? The ways in which you could leave me the fuck alone?”

“I need you back at Gotham.”

“Whatever you’re planning, Jason, I don’t want to be a part of it.”

“Then what do you want to be a part of? An illegal club owner in London? You know I can just call the cops and everything’s going to be over for you, don’t you?”

“I can’t go back to Gotham, not after what I’ve done.”

“What you did, couldn’t be worse than what I’ve done.” he said, sounding like the ghosts of his past were clawing at him. If only I could see him clearly, I would’ve been able to detect the lie. But we were standing under the cold night air, with a streetlight almost a kilometre away. London should invest more on streetlights. 

“I can’t. I don’t want to be a part of this anymore, I’ve left that life behind.” I replied, looking down at the darkness. 

“Bullshit!” he shouted, letting go of my hand as he continue, “If you’ve left this life behind, then what were you doing with your club? Don’t think I didn’t know about the things those people do inside. Or the air you pumped through the vents.”

I stay silent, unable to answer. I might’ve drugged them all as soon as their lungs came in contact with the air inside the abandoned warehouse, but that doesn’t mean they were not enjoying it. The hallucinogenic substance was the main cause of their fun. It’s a paradise I created solely for the people who wanted to forget. It is only the people who didn’t really want to forget, were able to fight off the hallucinogenic air. 

“What are you planning to use me for?” I asked. 

“Collateral.”

“Whose, exactly?”

“Your father, Scarecrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I should write another chapter on this, but for some reason I did. I'm thinking of making a full-on story out of this and settle all the plot holes once and for all. But in the meantime, I'm still making decisions in my head on how the story should progress. 
> 
> So, two things:  
> 1\. I want the story to be perfect and for it to make sense. So, I might not be able to post another chapter as soon, but I promise to post one each month AT LEAST.   
> 2\. Sorry for the cliffhanger.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as he had uttered my father’s _other identity_ , I could feel my knees go weaker. My vision is starting to swim around with memories of a monster. I dropped on the ground, the pain on my knees sobering me. I close my eyes, focusing on the pain, trying to drive those images away. I didn’t need this reminder, I can’t be reminded of him. No. I’ve worked too hard to reach where I am mentally. 

 

Jason crouched in front of me, his finger tipping my chin up to face him. His eyes may be gentle, he may look like the Jason I used to know, but that person no longer exists. He is using me again. And for once in my life, I wonder, how amazing it would’ve been, to be ignorant enough to be used by the elusive Jason Todd?

 

“You don’t have to see him. All you have to do is just to show your face.”

 

“How can you guarantee that? Have you seen what he’s like? The things I’ve been through…” I drifted, my mind being attacked by images of my father strapping me on a chair like a mental patient, while my worst fears were being projected before me. “You won’t go through that again.” Jason continued, pulling me back to the present. 

 

“No.” I shake my head, causing his hand to fall. “I don’t trust you.” _Not again._

 

“I understand that you don’t, but Gotham needs you.”

 

A scoff broke out of me at his words. Seriously? That does not sound like him at all. Did his brother, Dick, possessed his body or something? Was he brainwashed? Since when had he truly ever cared for the good of Gotham? And even if he does in the past, he wouldn’t admit those out loud. 

 

“Look, I know I sound like one of my obnoxious brothers to you, but I’m not kidding when I say it’s chaos there.”

 

“And what makes you think I’d risk my life for that godforsaken city?”

 

Jason got up, staring around him as he sighs exasperatedly. “I was hoping I didn’t have to do this.” he muttered under his breath. 

 

I immediately look up at him, my body on high alert. But I was too late. A force hits the back of my head. And before I know it, I was gone. 

 

_“You fucktard! I didn’t ask you to hit her that hard!” a deep voice scolded. It sounds like it belongs to a male._

 

_“Hey, it’s not my fault she’s immune to sleeping drugs.” a familiar one answered. Jason._

 

_“Yeah, but you nearly caused her a concussion!”_

 

_“I’m not taking chances. Who knows she might knee me in the balls again. The thought of it still keeps me up at night.” Jason confessed, then shuddered at the memory. I want to strangle him, to castrate him for doing this to me. But I can’t. I can’t move my limbs, my eyes. Nothing in my body is under my command but my thoughts. Lovely._

 

_Then, the voices starts to fade away. Only to come back a few moments later. Or what it felt like a moments later._

 

_“You should wake her up soon, Jason. We’re about to arrive.”_

 

_“Do we really have to? We could just carry her all the way to the Manor.”_

 

_“Bruce won’t like it.”_

 

The voices fade away and I’m back at swimming around the darkness. Until I heard the sound of skin hitting skin, followed by a stinging pain on my cheek. Blood boils within my veins as I flash my eyes open into a glare. The sight of the bitch Barbara Gordon standing over me, dressed in her Batgirl uniform. Her hands are folded in front of her as she smirks at me. 

 

“Good to see you’re awake, Ionna.” she said. 

 

“Where the fuck am I?” I asked, getting up to a sitting position to quickly, wincing at the waves of nausea invading me. Is this how a hangover should feel like?

 

“Bruce’s plane. We’re taking you back to Gotham, unfortunately. The Arkham Knight insisted.”

 

“So you’re saying I won’t be here if it wasn’t for that idiot’s plan?”

 

“Yup. We’re about to land. Best you look…” she looks up and down at me with a disgusted look on her face, before continuing, “less like a street rat I know you are.”

 

And with those words, she sauntered off the bedroom of the jet, closing the door behind her with a click. When she is finally out, I swing my legs off the bed and rush towards the bathroom. I jump back at the sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror. 

 

My hair didn’t just look like a mess, the dark curls I had spent 2 hours curling had faded. But that was not what caused me to jump back in shock. It was the drawings on my face. Someone, presumably the idiot Jason, had drawn a pair of nerdy glasses around my eyes. A fake moustache graces the top of my mouth, its edges curling dramatically on my cheeks. 

 

Jason didn’t stop there. He had drawn a picture of a penis on my forehead. And a big, hairy one at that. Who has-no. I don’t even want to think about it. 

 

I close my eyes, breathing in and out, trying to calm myself, before turning on the faucet and scrub the ridiculous drawings off. Not only was I abducted, but I am disrespected and ridiculed this way. 

 

I was devising my revenge when I make my way out of the bedroom, only to find most of the gang hanging outside. Barbara’s on one of the seats by the window, typing away on her laptop. Jason’s pouring himself a drink by the bar. And a dark-haired guy with disheveled hair who looked to be a few years younger than me, is standing in the middle, waving at me. He makes a red flannel and blue jeans look so good. He must be new. Or I may be living in London for too long.

 

“Hi! I’m Tim, I’m the Red Robin.” he said, extending his hand at me, smiling so bright with hints of childishness. 

 

“I’m…I’m Iona.” I replied, shaking his hand. 

 

“Oh, we know.” he pointed out, then explaining, “And about the graffiti all over your face, it’s purely Jason’s idea. I tried to stop him. I’m sorry if the idiot hits you too hard…”

 

“Nothing I’m not used to.” I muttered under my breath, turning to Jason, shooting him a death glare. Oh if only looks could kill…

 

The fucker brought up his glass, smirking like he’s some kind of mafia lord or something. I roll my eyes, and had started to make my way to slap that smirk out of him when a ding was heard from the speakers of the jet. The pilot is informing us that we are about to land and that we should go back to our seats. 

 

Everyone, like to good law-abiding citizens that they pretend to be, picked a seat. Except for Jason, he’s waiting for me to go to mine. I give him a look that says ‘don’t you dare’, because I don’t think I can stand even 5 minutes sitting next to him. But he didn’t care. 

 

Tim pulls my hand and makes me sit right next to him, sensing my discomfort. I fasten my seatbelt, watching Jason settling right across from me, glaring at Tim. Barbara, realising that she is alone in her side of the jet, rolls her eyes and continues on typing away at her laptop. 

 

“Stop bullying her.” Tim warned. 

 

Jason laughs, then reply, “But it’s so much fun!” with a fake whiny voice.

 

I didn’t bother replying, shaking my head at him instead. I tear my eyes away from them and fixing my gaze on the window. My heart feels heavier at the decreasing distance between Gotham and I. It had been a few years, perhaps more, since I stepped on this godforsaken city. I bit my lip, trying to quench my fear at the sight of the Gothic skyscrapers that Gotham is famous for. 


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as the door of the jet opens, Tim disappears through it, letting the sunlight swallow him hole. Barbara joins him a few seconds later, her heels clicking against the stairs. I turn to Jason, standing beside me, extending his hand as if to say ‘after you’. It looks like he is not ready to be back yet either. I wonder why. Jason loves this city like no other. 

I nod at him, making my way out of the jet. My hand automatically flies to cover my eyes from the harsh sun, shining right at us. I make my way down the steps carefully, feeling Jason following behind me. It is when I reach the ground, that I finally register my surroundings, and the person standing right in the middle of all this. 

Bruce smiles at me, extending his hand, saying, “Glad you could make it.”

Stunned, I could only nod, shaking his hand. Seeing Bruce in real life, it feels like seeing a ghost. A ghost of the past. The last memory I had of him, was in his car as he hands me a pile of documents filled with my new life in London. I still hadn’t known why he had chosen that city, out of all cities. Nor do I know why he had made them bring me here. 

“I heard that your arrival was…unwanted.” he said, as Jason comes up from behind me, staring between Bruce and I, in case one of us had said the wrong thing. 

“Jason brought me here against my will.” I replied, earning Jason a scoff from Bruce. 

“Well I’m sorry for that. I just told him to ask you kindly for help.” he explained, looking at Jason the whole time. 

“So does this mean I can go back home?”

“What are you talking about? You’re here, might as well stay and help us for a few days. Anytime you’re not feeling comfortable, the jet is ready to fly you back.” 

“I’m not feeling comfortable now. So? Can I go back?” 

“Not until you’ve heard everything. Trust me, you wouldn’t be so eager to go back to London.”

It turns out, I was right. After hearing everything from Bruce and Alfred, I still want to go back. The mere thought of meeting my father makes me sick, let alone seeing him in real life. Though I wouldn’t be seeing him, not technically, I’d still be able to sense his presence. And I don’t need that. I don’t want that. 

We are all sitting comfortably in the ‘cave’. All except for Barbara, thank god. She had taken off to the GCPD precinct a few hours ago. So it’s just us, hanging around all over the training grounds of the ‘cave’. 

And by ‘hanging around’, I meant Bruce and I, watching from above as Jason and Tim battled it out in the sparring circle with their weapons of choice. Tim is leaping from one point to another, attacking with his bo-staff, while Jason blocks his shots with nothing but his hands. 

“Jason told me that you ran an underground club in North London.” Bruce said, his hands folded and his eyes are still on his two sons. 

“Look, Bruce, I don’t think I can do this. Even through a screen, the thought of seeing him again…” I confessed, turning to Bruce, shooting him a pleading look. I just want to go home. 

“The fate of Gotham depends on it. You are our last hope.” he replied, deep in thought even though his eyes are still on the two men sparring below. 

“Wasn’t he locked up in Arkham?”

“He ran.”

“He’s not human anymore, Bruce.” I said. Jason looks up at me at the words for a millisecond, before focusing back on the fight with Tim, knocking Tim on the ground once again. “I wish a part of him was, I truly do. But I’ve seen it for myself, there was no semblance of the old Jonathan Crane left in him.”

“There still is, Ionna. No father would abandon his child so easily.”

“That’s the thing, Bruce. He didn’t abandon me, he experimented on me! I was his human test subject, and when it’s not enough, he used innocent people!”

As soon as the words left my mouth, everything went silent. The only thing that breaks it is the sound of Tim’s staff hitting the floor, followed by the audible sounds of their heavy breathing. I can feel their gaze turning to us, especially to me. But I ignore them. I ignore them all, marching out of the place. 

I walk into the elevator, leaning against the wall, my thoughts drifting towards the most beautiful glass of whisky. I was disturbed by the peaceful thought, when I heard a hand stopping the closing doors of the elevator. Then, an unwanted presence steps in, closes the elevator door and turns to me. I don’t have to open my eyes to see who it is. 

“I heard Bruce owns the best bars in Gotham.”

“He owns several of them, but the best liquor can be found in his home.” Jason said, leaning against the wall next to mine. 

“I just want to get out of here.” I sighed, feeling a migraine coming. 

“I know just the place.” he grins, grabbing my wrist as soon as the elevator doors open. Alfred is looking at us suspiciously, holding his tray of cucumber sandwiches outside the elevator. Jason tells Alfred that he’ll be leaving with me and not to bother to wait up. Alfred sighs in exasperation, before walking into the elevator. 

We pass by the living room that rivals the beauty of the Victorian palaces back home. Then through a flight of stairs that leads from corridor to corridor, until we reach a metal door amidst all the grandeur. 

Jason lets go of my hand as he types the password to the door. I stand and watch as the door automatically clicks open. And as soon as we enter the room, my jaw hits the ground at the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in my entire life. Rows and rows of the best cars known to men, from cars meant to speed to cars that look like tanks. 

We walk past those, making our way to the other part of the room and perhaps my favourite. Rows and rows of motorbikes lines up. Jason smirks at me, knowing how much I love riding one of these. How we used to race each other through the streets of Gotham in these. How he used to teach me how to ride these when we made our escape from our responsibilities. 

“Pick any one you’d like to try.” Jason said, standing next to a black Ducati, opening its compartment, fishing out for his leather jacket. 

“How could I possibly?” I wandered out loud, though my feet is already making its way towards the one next to his. A Bonneville T100, the same one he had stolen from some club. The same one he taught me in.   
My hands caress its seat, as memories of that night flashes through my head. I truly thought the motorcycle's destroyed or was gone. I never thought that I’d be touching it ever again. Jason must’ve had customise it a little because there's a skull with the words ‘Toxic Gas’ on its black skin. My lips form into a smile, admiring his humour. 

“Bruce let me keep it when he took me in.”

“We were too young to even ride something like this." I replied, as he hands me a metallic silver helmet. 

“Yet it was the most fun we ever had.” he said, climbing onto his bike and putting a black helmet on. 

“Where are we going?” I asked, climbing onto mine and revving the engine. It seems that the decal is not the only thing Jason had added into the T100. Because the sound of the engine is so smooth and deep, it sends chills down my spine. It’s beautiful. 

“Follow my lead. I know just the place.” he grins, before pushing his helmet down and disappears through the opening garage doors. 

I stare at him, bewildered and awed. I could feel my pulse racing, my ribs tickling from the sight of him in his motorcycle. I allow myself to smile, knowing that the Jason I used to know is still there, before catching up to him.


	5. Chapter 5

The sky is darkening into a calming ocean blue. The wind rushes through us as if it is warning us to stop. But none of us did. Instead, he increase his speed, and I follow him. We race through the highway, with cars honking at us for cutting through them but we didn’t care. We wind through the traffic, racing past the tall skyscrapers, with the streetlights turning on as we pass them. It is as if they know that the Arkham Knight himself is out.

The vibrations of the engine fuels my adrenaline, sending tingling shocks through my veins. My heart is racing, but not because of fear. But of excitement. If there’s anything better than alcohol, it’s this. This feeling. I wish I could bottle it up and save it.

We made a right turn, exiting the highway and entering a more secluded street. There are not many vehicles here, nor are there pedestrians. It’s the evening but the place is so dark, it looks like it’s already nighttime. Yet, I don’t feel any fear. Not after we make another turn and I saw where we are finally going.

As soon as we near the place, the sense of familiarity gets stronger and stronger. I’ve been here, hell, we’ve been here. We’ve made these streets our home, just two kids running around in one of Gotham’s most richest areas, hunting down for whatever we thought we could grab. And suddenly, I got the idea of where he is taking me. The place where we first met.

He stops in front of the familiar building, entering from the back, just as we used to do. The roads have changed, its wider than it used to be. It’s an entrance reserved for VIPs who wanted to remain anonymous. It’s where he and I first accidentally met.

There’s a small red-carpet rolled in front of the metal door. We park our motorbikes next to it. He takes off his helmet and I do the same, hanging it on one of the handles. Then, catching my reflection through the mirrors, I comb my fingers through my hair, fixing my annoying helmet hair.

“Are you sure it’s safe to park here?” I asked, looking at Jason as he punches in the password for the door.

“No one goes through here except for Bruce and the others.” he replied, as the door clicks open. I hesitate, staring at our two beloved motorbikes, unconvinced. He turns to me, rolls his eyes in exasperation, saying, “The bikes are fitted with a security system, no one but us will be able to touch it.”

I nod, sending a silent but temporary goodbye to my two beloveds. Jason is holding the door open for me when I enter. He seals it behind him when we both steps in.

I am standing there, staring at the amount of alcohol throughout the room. There’s wine ranging from the cheapest to the most expensive from all parts of the world. Then there’s whiskey, vodka, bourbon, my jaws drops to the ground for the second time today.

“We’re at the storage room. I was planning to take you to the bar upstairs, but I have a better idea.”

“What, we’re going to have a drink at a sex dungeon?” I retorted, still dazed.

Jason laughs, replying, “We could if you want to, but you’ll probably cut my dick off.”

He disappears into one of the rows of cupboards for a few seconds, then reappears with a bottle of whisky in his hand. He holds it up like a trophy, before making his way out of the storage room. I follow his lead, hoping not to get lost. Though getting lost here wouldn’t be so bad. At least I’d survive.

We make our way through the kitchen, then through the upscale restaurant, earning more than a few stares. He didn’t care, as he winds through the lobby. The lobby’s fitted with marble tiles and marble walls. So much marble.

We get inside a big elevator, its walls unlike the lobby, is made up of wood. And the expensive kind. I knock on it, wondering how a piece of this wood would’ve fed me for at least a year when I was a child. I lean against the wall, suddenly furious at the grandeur. It’s true what they say, one would only know the pain when everything’s taken away from them.

“Here we go again.” Jason said, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“You have that look on your face, as if you’re in deep philosophical thought. What are you thinking about? How life is pain, life is sad all that blah, blah, blah?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Get over yourself, drama queen, you’re not in some fucking movie.”

I was about to take off my shoe and chuck it at him when the elevator dings open. Jason looks relieved for a millisecond as he steps out, leaving me inside. I sigh, then followed suit.

The wind blows all my hair to the back, along with my jacket. Annoyed, I zip my jacket and try to hold my hair to the front, trying to conceal the edges of my face.

I look around us, with Jason already leaning on the edge and opening the bottle of whisky. We are at the rooftop of a skyscraper. In the middle, is a helipad but there’s not helicopter parked there. We’re alone at the top, with nothing but the sound of life going on under us.

“You must come here really often.” I said, leaning next to him, staring at the world below. We are more than 20 stories above, but I didn’t feel the dizziness people do when they look down from this high up. It seems like death doesn’t even scare me anymore.

“Sometimes. I like the view here, and what it represents.” he replied, handing me the bottle. I take a swig from it as he recalls, “We met in the alley back there.”

“Yeah, I was surprised that you remember it.”

“You made me realise for the first time that I’m not alone.”

“Then you betrayed me.” I replied, recalling the memory.

_My mind had never felt so heavy. Had never felt this painful, as if there were a bunch of needles prickling my brain. The visions are coming, I could see things that are not supposed to be there. Chaos surrounds me. People bleeding out on the streets, black shadows engulfing the city with darkness, then the sight of my mother, lying lifelessly on the ground as a figure pounds into her._

_I drop onto my knees, close my eyes and clutch my head as tight as I can, willing it to go away. But it didn’t. It stays there. It won’t go away. The harder I push it away, the more it forces itself on me. I pinch the bridge of my noes, trying to get the smell of the gas out of me but it didn’t work. Nothing works._

_I knock my head against the wall, shrieking. Willing the images to go away. But with each knock, each of my fear rises. The sound of my father, laughing maniacally in the background. The sound of my own screams as I feel a bunch of needles piercing my skin. Then the smell of the gas as it enters my nose._

_A hand suddenly touches my bare shoulder and I instinctively kick at the direction. I can’t see anything but the blood and the shadows and my dead mother. Then followed by my father, the sharp needles, the gas. I can’t. I scream some more but I could feel my mouth being covered by a hand. I tried shaking it away, but I could feel myself being restrained._

_The figure turns, only to reveal my father, smiling at me. There is something unnatural about his smile, as if he had intoxicated himself with the poison. “Please,dad, stop.” I begged, but I could still smell the gas off of him when he reply, “I’m the Scarecrow. You’re going to be my prodigy, what does it take for you to accept it? Should I increase the dosage?”_

_“No, please. Stop.” I pleaded, and suddenly, I could feel a force on the back of my head and everything went dark._

_Cold. I feel cold. It goes into my skin, giving me goosebumps. I close my eyes tighter, my hands forming into fists as I lay on the cold hard ground, wanting the pain to go away. To forget everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve experienced._

_“Oh, good. You’re awake.” a male voice said from above. Am I dead?_

_“I found you crouching next to a dumpster behind the hotel. You thought I’m your father or something so I had to restrain you and well…”_

_Slowly, I open my eyes, both scared and unsure of whether I should. What if I’m back in his lab? What if the person who found me is just like him? Or worse, what if he works for him?_

_“Please don’t take me back.” I begged, my eyes closing, feeling the courage disappears within me._

_“Whoever you’re talking about, don’t worry about it. I don’t even know where you come from.” he said._

_“Where do you come from, by the way?” he wondered._

_There’s something about the words that he said, or was it just he voice, that gives me the small comfort that I need. I slowly open my eyes and was met with a guy a few years older than me, crouching in front of me, looking down. The edge of his lips twists into a curl, showing off his dimples. His hair looks like it’s being blown by the wind. His eyes reminds me of the ocean. And his skin, pale against the moonlight._

_He’s wearing a red oversized hoodie and blue jeans, with a pair of dirty Converse. I stare up at him, confused and scared. He looks about my age, perhaps a few years older. I don’t think I’ve met anyone close to my age before, except for when I was in middle school for a short while when they hadn’t forced me to live with my father. Since then, I was homeschooled. And by homeschooled, I was constantly being experimented on by a lunatic of a father._

_“Ah, you’re the silent one, I see. Oh well, nice meeting you.” he said, getting up and walking away from me._

_“Wait!” I blurted, getting into a sitting position, staring at his retreating form. It is only when I look around us, that I found out, we are in the rooftop of some building. How did we manage to climb up this far?_

_He turns back at me, waiting for me to say something. “I…I have nowhere to go.” I admitted._

_“Go back home. This life is not suitable for a little girl like you.” he said, as if he’s way older and more superior than me. As if he had thousands of life experiences and all._

_“I’m not a little girl, you idiot! You have no idea what I’ve been through!”_

_“Let me guess, you’re angry that your parents won’t let you go to some party? Or you didn’t get a new cellphone?” he taunted, walking slowly to me. With the buildings and the lights behind him, he looks like the Devil._

_“Go. Home. The fact that you’ve torn your clothes from whatever gutter you crawl out of, just proves that you’re not suited for this. You think this is romantic, isn’t it? Running away from your parents in the middle of the night to prove some stupid point?”_

_“My parents are dead. I’m as much of a street rat like you.”_

_“Who says I am one?” he replied, tipping my chin up with his index finger to meet his eyes, then continues, “Now run along before I come back and lock you there myself.”_

_“You’re Jason Todd. You’re the adoptive son of Bruce Wayne. You should’ve been at home right now, but you’re not. I wonder what would happen if Bruce finds out.” I said._

_The tip of his finger on my chin turns into his fingers curling around my neck, squeezing it. I choke back a cough as he demands, “How did you know all this?”_

_“I have my ways. And I know you, Jason Todd. You were a street rat as much as I am.”_

_Just like that, I could feel his hold on my neck decreasing._

“I didn’t mean to betray you but I had to, you know.” he said, feeling the whisky sending trails of fire down his throat.

“It’s partly my fault. I shouldn’t have gone too far on the research.”

“I told you that she has something to do with Joker.”

“And I didn’t trust you.”

“Then you died.”

“And Bruce sent you away, because you know too much.”

“Yeah.” I replied, staring at the life downstairs.

“But why London, out of all places? You could’ve easily gone somewhere warmer, somewhere safer.” he said.

“I don’t know. After the news of your death got out, Bruce sends me to his jet with a pile of documents. He said to open it inside the plane. So I did.”

“Huh, he must have his reasons.” Jason said.

“Yeah.”


	6. Chapter 6

The world’s gone utterly mad. There is no other way to describe it. The worst things one would expect to happen, happened. Unfortunately, none of us has the control over it. The feeling is the worst, to not have the power to fix things. And that’s how I am feeling right now. 

The rain falls heavily outside the window. Every drop leaving a loud mark on the window, as if it is begging to enter. If a weather reflects how I feel, it is this. All I want to do is to go back to the life I’ve found and loved, not this. But I don’t have a choice, for I am the symbol of hope for everyone in Gotham, at least that’s what Bruce thinks. 

No one knew that the Scarecrow has a daughter. That knowledge was kept a secret for years. No one knew the real identity of Scarecrow either, except for us and probably the League. And now, everyone thinks I’m some kind of a secret weapon to be wielded against Scarecrow. No matter how many times I’ve told them that there’s no way he would go back to being Dr.Jonathan Crane, no one believes me. No one but Jason, for he had seen firsthand what I’ve experienced as his daughter. 

And at that thought, our conversation from last night flashes through my mind once again:

“Why do you insist on bringing me back here? You know there’s no hope for him. You’ve seen what he had done.” I said, staring at the building across from us, at the people in the office picking their things up and leaving. A pang of envy hits my chest like a cannonball at the thought of living a normal life like theirs. 

“It’s been too long since you’re away from Gotham. You belong here, in this city.” he replied. 

“I was happy there.”

“No you’re not, I see right through you. You’re miserable.”

I turn to him all of a sudden, glaring as I challenge, “Oh yeah? How am I miserable?”

“You get wasted every night, everyone is scared of you. You’ve got no friends, no family, not even a boyfriend. Dude, you’re miserable.”

“Yet I’m happy.”

“Bullshit. You belong here. Gotham’s your home and you know it.”

“Once I’m done, I’m not staying nor coming back, Jason. Not ever.”

At that, he turns to me, both disappointment and pity in his expression. However, it quickly disappeared with a fake smile as he said, “Suit yourself.”

Earlier this morning, Bruce and Alfred had laid out their plans on the table. It seems simple to them, but I know I might be starting from the bottom once again, once everything’s done. I should’ve shut my mouth, should’ve just quietly listened and nod my head. But no, my stupid mouth had to speak. 

They had firstly suggested that I’d be staying in a separate room where Scarecrow could see me but I couldn’t see him. Then they’d do whatever’s necessary on him to see if he would react to the sight of me. To bring him back from insanity. 

But, my stupid mouth had blurted that it wouldn’t work. Jason looks like he’s about to bolt from the table. Tim looks more interested than ever. While Bruce and Alfred just looks unsure. Clearly, their initial plan had been taken in consideration to my mental health. On the other hand, if I’m going to do this, might as well go all out. So I suggested that I should talk to my father instead. Or try. I’m pretty sure when I said that, Jason was the one who blurted a soft, ‘oh fuck’.

So here I am, staring wistfully at the window, wondering how had I gotten into this position. 

“Is it your time of the month?” Jason whispered into my ear, his breath ticking my skin and I jump, automatically raising my fist at his direction. 

He managed to dodge, unfortunately as I shriek, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Yup, definitely your time of the month.” he said, half of his body leaning against the wall behind me, his arms are folded in front of him and he’s grinning as if he’s holding all the scandalous secrets of the world. 

I rub the ear he’s whispering to, trying to calm my pulse that’s trying to beat itself out of my skin. What the hell?

“What are you doing here?” I asked. 

He looks around at my room, as if he’s taking in the place for the first time. I shake my head, while he reply, “I’m about to go train downstairs. Do you want to join? Perhaps we could spar like how we used to?”

I scoff, when he added, “Though if it’s the time of the month, and you’re feeling extra sensitive…”

I punch his arm at that, replying, “Don’t you dare complete that sentence, or you’ll never have any female lovers ever again.”

“Well I’ve got you.” he said, mischief glinting in his eyes. 

“Don’t you even think about it.” I replied, stomping on his foot as we make our way towards the basement. 

Jason had changed into his Arkham Knight suit, only without his helmet nor his mask. His hair is disheveled, as if he just rolled out of bed. I gulp, mentally slapping myself, trying to get the image of him on the bed out of my mind. And as if he knows what’s on my mind, he grins at me as he shamelessly stares at my outfit from top to bottom. 

I look down at what I’m wearing, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his stare. A pair of my combat boots that I’ve arrived here in, black yoga pants, grey tank top. My hair, gathered tightly into a ponytail. 

“So what do you suggest? Should we do this with our bare hands, or with a weapon?”  
“Bare hands. Let’s keep this interesting.” he said, stepping into the ring. 

“Ah I see, you don’t want to be whipped today.” I joked, following him. 

He only snickers in reply, standing in the middle, keeping his gaze on me. It’s so intense it feels like he’s burning a hole through my clothes. I try not to shy away from his gaze as I move closer to him to the centre of the circle, staring him down. He’s so close, I could feel his breath on my skin every time he exhales, sending goosebumps down my skin. He seems to see this, as he grins at me. 

He attacks first. His fist flying from the side. I dodged it in time, then barreling my fist towards his ribs, but there was no affect on him. So I ram my fist on it once more. But he didn’t budge. He broke into a chuckle. 

I didn’t even have time to scream the customary ‘Oh Shit!’ before he wrap his arms around my waist. He lifts me up then knocks me on the ground. 

I groan at the sudden pain on my back. My eyes open once the pain starts to subside, only to meet his eyes, staring down at me as his knees are on the ground, locked between my waist. I gulped. He did the same. 

He leans in closer, sweat beading on his temple. His head covers the light, making it look like he has a halo, though he resembles more of a Devil. 

My hands formed into fist, my arms still locked on the ground, trying not to move. I stare at him, focusing only onto him as he leans closer to me. My pulse threatening to beat its way out of my chest again but I ignore it. 

His arms landed on either side of my face. He’s resting on his elbows as he stares at me, his eyes looking more bluer than it’s ever been. I could only stare back, my body as frozen as ice inside a freezer. Yet my insides are on fire. What is this?

He dip his head lower, my breath hitched. I could feel his breath on my skin, as he leans his head against the crook of my neck. At every exhale, he causes the chill that runs down on my spine. I could feel his heartbeat beating against mine, as his lips touches my collarbone. 

My hands finally found its courage to grab his waist. Taking it as an encouragement, he moves his head to the top of mine. I move my hand towards his back, my fingers feeling his hard muscles. The dents, the veins, as if his black wings were cut off. 

Our nose touch, our mouths just mere inches from each other, our eyes lost in each other. He never look this vulnerable, this open. I carefully raise my knee, while keeping my eyes locked on his, then knocking it on his crotch. 

He groaned and muttered curses even I was shocked to hear. He collapsed on the ground next to me, clutching his precious balls. I move out of his way, standing up and staring at him as he turns to lie on his back. 

I walk over to him, then drop into a crouch, brushing a strand of hair away from his face as I tell him, “Don’t ever pull that shit on me ever again.”


	7. Chapter 7

I stare through the screen. My whole body’s rigid, as if it’s prepared for something to happen. But I know nothing will. Not right now anyway. 

Across the screen, sits my father, tied up on a chair. The cord that ties him up looks like it would electrocute him if he even made the slightest movement. They also put him in a mask that looks almost similar to the ones the plague doctors used to wear. He finally looks like a monster. 

I could feel a hand sneaking up to mine, grabbing it and squeezing it tight for reassurance. I look down, seeing the familiar callouses of a hand that I know so well. Then I look up, seeing Jason in his Arkham Knight uniform, staring through the screen, standing right next to me. 

“I’m sorry.” he confessed. Even though I couldn’t see his face right now, I can tell that he meant it. So I nod in reply and let go of his hand. 

“Are you ready?” Bruce asked from behind us, dressed in his Batman uniform. Beside him, stands the Police Commissioner, whose name I had forgotten. They are both watching the Scarecrow intently, noting any slight changes from his movements.

Without answering them, I walk through the door, eager to get this over with. I slam the door behind me unintentionally due to the adrenaline. Though my body’s trembling inside, my knees feeling like jelly at every step I take, I try not to let it show. Fake it till’ you make it, right?

I stand in front of him, both my hands balling into fists at my sides. Not out of anger, but out of fear. I hate being this scared. And I hate the monster right in front of me who had turned me this way. 

“Ah, if it isn’t my sweet daughter?” he asked. Though none of us could see it, I could feel his smile under his mask. 

“Batman, it’s not working.” I shouted, knowing that they’re all listening through the other room. 

“You’re working with the enemy now, isn’t it? Have you betrayed your father? Your family?” 

“You’re not my family!” I shouted back at him.

“Then they are? If you’re not related to me, you wouldn’t be able to withstand even my most lethal experiments.”

“You’re insane!”

“I MADE YOU THIS WAY! I MADE YOU STRONG! YOU! ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO WON’T BE INTOXICATED BY ANY SUBSTANCE!” he shouted, shaking his chair, electricity flaring up from the cord. He must be getting electrocuted, but it seemed like the voltage is not high enough, for he can still try to struggle against it. 

Suddenly, he stops moving. I tensed and instinctively take more than a few steps back. His head is down, but I could tell that it is all a ruse. 

He raises his head, telling me, “Yet I can’t stop my research. I need to know what your breaking point is. Only then, will I know what kills me.”

My back is against the screen, my fingers gripping the edge of the window as tight as it allows me to. What is he going to do to me? 

My vision starts to swim around me, I can’t seem to focus on anything. My knees seemed to lose its battle against my fear and before I know it, I could feel it hitting hard against the floor. However, I feel no pain that should’ve followed after it. Nothing but frustrating numbness.   
Someone is screaming something. Bruce? Jason? I have no idea. My hand is gripping the edge of the screen, while the other is clutching my head, trying to force it to concentrate, to get myself back to normal. I can feel sweat soaking my clothes as I try do so. Everything is chaotic. I close my eyes, trying to will it away. 

I could feel a pair of strong hands on my shoulders trying to shake me. I open my eyes, only to find myself staring at Jason, his face still hidden behind that mask. I look around me, but I couldn’t see anything. The whole room is filled with brown smoke, as if it’s contaminated. 

He still holds my shoulders, staring at me through his mask. I could feel his hands trembling against me, as if he is trying as hard as he keep his hold on me. I can only stare at him in confusion. Had he been intoxicated by the fear gas? 

I can feel one of his hands finding its way to cup my cheek. I stare at him as he do so, both shocked and confused at his sudden fragility. I swallowed a lump on my throat at the sight, at his pain. What could he be seeing right now? 

With one hand still gripping on the edge of the screen, I reach my other hand towards his mask. My finger tracing against the surface. And as if it had accepted my fingerprint, it clicks open, revealing his face, with the familiar ‘J’ scar. Though a part of his face are covered with the black mask to protect his identity, he’s still the same person who taught me how to embrace life. Who taught me everything I know today. 

Suddenly, before I could touch his skin, the helmet clicks shut, forcing my hand to back away from him. He keeps his grip on me, tighter this time, causing me to wince at the pain, knowing that it will bruise tomorrow. He doesn’t seem to look normal, as if what he’s currently seeing is not me. 

Before I know it, a pair of hands snaked behind him and dragged him away from me. It happened so fast, I didn’t even have the time to scream. Somehow, I can still hear him screaming my name as a hand covers my mouth and I was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

There were nothing but absolute darkness. I reach out my hand, flinging it all around me like a madman, but there was nothing but air. I push down the rising panic inside me, as I try to call out for someone, anyone, but no one answered. 

Slowly, carefully, despite my trembling knees, I kneel on the ground, my hand touching smooth, cold surface. A tile? Where am I exactly? I got back up, the fear starting to cloud my judgment as I screamed louder, calling out for anyone. Yet no one answered. 

There was nothing but pure utter darkness. Where am I? Where the fuck am I? My hands fly to my head in an attempt to crush my skull in frustration. Then I broke down, letting the fear and panic taking over my body as I banged my fists on the ground, shouting for anyone to come help me. My voice echoing, the sound of my fists hitting the tiles getting louder and louder at each second. If I could see right now, my vision would be blurred with frustrated tears. 

My palms fall flat on the ground with a splat, feeling the cold tiles radiating through my skin, tears dropping like tiny raindrops onto the ground. This is it, am I dead? Have I been condemned to be stuck here forever? I screamed at the memories playing in my head like some sad film. 

Suddenly, the floor breaks away and I am drowning. I can’t breathe, as my limbs thrashed around, trying to keep myself afloat. The depression is replaced with fear and adrenaline once more. My feet, thrashing around, desperate looking for an even ground underneath me but there were none. My hands, splashing around, trying to grab ahold of something to keep me from sinking but there were none. 

I’m cold, I’m so cold.The water’s cold. I gritted my teeth as I look up, trying to keep my face off of water. My legs, which are still thrashing around, ached with the familiar tiredness. My arms are starting to hurt. I could feel my adrenaline draining, as my body finally gets adjusted to the situation. Yet my mind still screams to continue on. 

I’m so tired, I thought, feeling the last of my energy draining from me as I could feel the water slowly reaching up to my chin. I keep my eyes on the darkness above. I can’t see anything but I still keep my head up with a tiny sliver of hope that I could still survive. Though I know I won’t be as lucky, feeling the water finally reaching to the tip of my nose. 

Feeling the water stinging my eyes, I close it in surrender. I ignore the alarm inside my body as it tells me to breathe, to find a way to get oxygen. Instead, I let the coldness of the water enter me, as I slowly make my descent. 

I could feel myself suddenly being pulled upwards. I could feel the familiar strong arms gripping mine. And once half of my body is out of the water, those hands drifted around my waist, hoisting me up. I immediately wrap my arms around his neck, holding onto him as he groans on my ear. 

He falls onto the ground, with my on top of him as soon as my knees touched the ground. It was dark, but for some reason, I can see him. He’s staring up at me with worried eyes, one hand on my cheek, tucking a strand of wet hair to the back of my ear. 

“J-Jason, how did you end up here?” I asked, shocked at his presence and the fact that he’s the only thing I see amidst all the darkness. 

He pulls me towards him and I give in, too weak to fight. His lips reached my ear, then he whispers, “This is not real.”

Just like that, it feels as if I’m falling off a cliff, with the sudden rush of air that was knocked out my lungs. And just like that, my eyes are open again, only to find myself staring at an empty white room. 

The room is filled with rows and rows of bottles. Next to these bottles, are surgical tools being laid out neatly next to me. Then syringes with needles of different sizes. No, it can’t be. 

I pull at my hand, only to be restrained by the feeling of a cold metal surrounding my wrist. Then my legs, which is in the same condition. 

I look up and wince at the sharp light shining down at me. I curse under my breath, trying to fight the restraints but it was no use. I shouted, “Get out of here you sick fuck!” 

“I’m fucking awake, now!” I added, knowing that he must be eager to see his favourite test subject is faring towards his new concoction. 

He glides in, flashing me one of his signature grins as he fingers the rows of bottles, saying, “It’s still not working, isn’t it? There’s a parasite inside your brain. I have to take him out.”

“What, you’re going to kill him? Go ahead!” 

Scarecrow only shakes his head, looking delusional, as he picks up a scalpel, moving in front of me and scratching it on my temple, telling me, “Nah, the parasite will still be there. I would need to cut your head open and pry him out. Hmm…I wonder what medication I should give you…” he drifted away, retreating back to his lab. 

Frustration gnawed at my brain, as I try to pull the restraints away, gritting my teeth at the pain. The restraints wouldn’t even budge.


	9. Chapter 9

Dick looks at his brother, sitting on the edge of the roof, staring at nothing as the sun sets across from him. Thank god, he thought, for he had been searching for Jason everywhere. He should’ve checked this place first, the one place he knew had held memories of his childhood. The place where he was born and abandoned. 

He wishes he’d have something other than a crappy brotherly advice to offer him. A bottle of whiskey perhaps. But he knew it’s better not to drink while on watch.

Dick sits next to him, looking at Jason, in his uniform, sulking like a moody teenager. He sighed, trying to recall the last time he had been this way over someone. But he couldn’t. 

“You okay?” Dick asked. Jason turned to him, raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘are you serious?’. 

“Crappy question, sorry. What I meant to say was, what are you doing here, sulking like a sullen teenager?”

“I’m not sulking, I’m thinking, dimwit.”

“You do know that we’re all investigating her whereabouts, right? What happened…it was an accident. It was none of your fault.”

“I brought her here. I forced her back in, so stop bullshitting me.”

Dick sighed, knowing that there is no way around arguing with the crazy brother of his. So he asks, “Have you gotten any idea, though? Where she might be?”

To that, Jason stayed silent, staring back at nothingness. He didn’t know what to answer his nosy brother. He had no leads, for all the possible leads had ended up to be fruitless. It had been almost a week now and he wondered if she’d still be alive at this point. But knowing how stubborn she is, she’d be able to fight it. She had survived him after all these years, hadn’t she?

Suddenly, a huge explosion vibrated through the building, causing the two brothers standing up in alarm. Their eyes scanned through the view like a hawk’s, only to find a woman lying face-down on the ground amidst the smoke. 

The door had bursted open and is now in pieces all over the floor, along with a few bricks. It is the door that led to the roof. And no one was hurt, except for the woman, who’s now unconscious on the ground. 

Dick approached the woman, while Jason looked around for any clues of the culprit. It seemed like the people in Gotham are too busy with their lives, as no one seemed to be reacting to the small explosion in the red building of one of Gotham’s most dangerous neighbourhoods. 

Jason found a grenade with the pin already detached on the ground, amongst the pieces of the door. He picks it up, inspecting it, before being called by his brother. 

“Red Hood, I think you should see who I found.” Dick said, gently picking you from the ground, positioning your head on the crook of his arm. 

“It’s her.” Jason blurted out, shocked. The shock then quickly disappears, replacing itself with urgency as he takes you away from Dick’s arms and stood. 

“We have to bring her back to the Manor. Alfred will know what to do.”

“Shouldn’t she go to the hospital? Look at her, she’s probably dying by now.”

“She’s probably intoxicated, I don’t they’d know what to do with Scarecrow’s toxins. Especially if she had ingested so many of them.”

“She might also have a concussion. Her head’s bleeding.” Jason said, staring at your face covered in soot. It seemed that you had aged a few decades after a few days. Your skin looked paler, your weight seemed to be much lighter and your veins are turning into a dark colour, which is starting to show under your skin. 

“You go, take my motorcycle if you have to. I’ll call the Oracle and tell him what happened.” Dick informed him. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I have mine parked in the alleyway.” Jason replied, jumping to roof of the building across with ease, as you hang limply on his arms, unaware of what is happening.


	10. Chapter 10

Perhaps I’m still dreaming, and if I am, I wish I could stay here forever. “This is home.” I whispered out loud, my eyes wandering through the room, marvelling at the little familiar details of my London flat. The place that I’ve been living in for a few years. 

My hands trace the grey walls, meeting the tiny crack on the wall, recalling a memory from a month ago or so. How I came home, furious, after gulping more than a few bottles in my underground club. I didn’t know how I made it back home in one piece that night, but I remember it was the night after I found Jason following me. How I had punched the wall, blinded with rage, causing my knuckles to bruise. 

My lips unknowingly form into a smile at the memory. Those were the beginning of the end to my peaceful new life. I shake my head, letting my feet take me towards the kitchen, with the dishes still hanging on the dish rack. My hands caress through my plates, thinking of how I never even got to put these plates back into the cupboard because I didn’t know I would be away this long. And now that I’m here, I put those plates back into the cupboard, arranging them properly like I usually would during the day. 

Once I’m satisfied that they are properly arranged, I walk away from the kitchen, towards my favourite place. My bedroom. And as my feet made its way through the creaking wooden floors, a strange sensation comes up in my chest. As if there is something wrong. No, more like someone. 

Anticipation fills inside me, so I grab my large purple umbrella that is randomly leaning against the wall. Someone must’ve left it there, because I’ve always put my umbrella next to my front door. 

I hold it up as if I’m holding a sword. Anything could be a weapon. It is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned throughout my years living in the gutter. Even yourself. 

The wooden floor creaks at my every step. Sweat is beading on my head. I’m terrified, but I push the fear down within me. 

The door to my bedroom is already open, but the light is off. Strange, because it’s still during the day. Yet without the light, I couldn’t see anything, not even the sunlight that usually comes through the window. It seems like someone had boarded my bedroom window shut, for I don’t put blinds in my room. Anything to keep the darkness out. 

I reach one trembling hand into the darkness, while keeping a firm grip on my umbrella. My hand shakily found the light switch next to the door, but before I could flip it on, a familiar voice sounded from the darkness, saying, “Wake up, lazyhead.”

A familiar voice that could only belong to no one other than the asshole. I flip it on, but as soon as I did, a blinding light shines so bright, I had to squint my eyes. The light keeps on increasing and increasing, causing me to topple backwards as I cover my eyes, squeezing it shut. 

I had expected to feel the impact of the ground when I topple backwards, but instead, my eyes bursted open and I was greeted by a different reality. I was not in London any longer. No, I’m back to reality, in Gotham. Specifically, one of guests’ bedrooms in the Wayne Manor. 

The door bursted open, only to reveal the Jason. He is breathing hard, as if he was running all the way from the other side of the Manor. In one of his hands, he is holding a small screen monitor. A screen monitor that shows my room. 

The sight of it in his hand cause me to turn my head and see the small camera on my bedside table. Had he been monitoring me all this time? What the fuck? And how did I end up here? 

“Are you okay? How was your sleep?” he asked, one hand still on the doorknob, as if he is still unsure whether he should step inside.   
“Were you spying on me?” 

“I wouldn’t dare.” he replied, trying to stealthily shove the monitor inside his back pocket. 

“Oh yeah? Then what’s that you’re shoving into your pants?”

“I ‘monitored’ you, that’s different. You can’t expect me to stay there day and night like some lovesick idiot.”

“Did you use a baby monitor?!” I shrieked, as soon as I pick up the camera and found the logo emblazoned on the top. 

“Oh, I see you’re in a bad mood. I’m…gonna…call for Alfred to make you some cucumber sandwiches, while I go fetch my tranquillisers.”

I shot him a look so menacing, he nodded with surrender and close the door behind him. He pulls out the monitor from his pocket and hands me it, like a schoolboy getting caught cheating. And I stare at the screen, where it shows me sitting on the bed with pillows strewn all over the floor, and Jason standing next to it with his arms crossed like a worried lover. Wait, lover? Disgusting. Or is it? No, disgusting, it must be disgusting.

I shut it down, tossing it across the bed. He looks at it, asking me, “So what did you remember? How did you escape?”

“I don’t remember much exactly. All I remembered was that I was strapped in that lab. I was already high from the amount of toxins he injected into my body.”

“We found you in the roof of the same apartment building, the one where you used to live.”

“Yeah, I can’t really remember how I got out, but I did remember him looking for me. I couldn’t open the door and I had no choice. There was an explosion and that’s about it.”

“You were kicking and screaming every now and then. You were experiencing withdrawals for a few days now. Which is remarkable, since it would take a normal person a few years at least to get rid of all the things he had injected in you.”

I ignore the part where he said something about a ‘normal person’. I know I’m not normal, having to go through what I’ve gone through ever since I was a child. To never experience the love of a family or any form of love at all. The closest thing I ever had, when I thought I would feel nothing but hatred towards the world, was to the idiot standing next to me. 

“Look,” he begin, sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand suddenly gripping my wrist. My eyebrows narrowed at the sudden touch but he didn’t seem to care, as he continue, “Bruce said to let you decide where you want to be this time. You could disappear once again, create a new life for yourself somewhere you choose. Going back to London won’t be possible, since Scarecrow had probably found your identity there.”

“You’re going to leave me just like this, alone, after what you all have put me through?”

“You’ll be safe.”

“I’m tired of running, Jason. If I can’t go back to London, then at least let me do one thing here.”

“What is it?”

I look around the room, checking for any other surveillance devices that they had planted, other than the embracing one that the idiot planted. Fortunately there are none. So I get up from my bed, despite my head swimming a little from the sudden movement. 

I take the tiny camera on my bedside table, break it with my hand. Jason stares at the broken pieces on the floor, his mouth open, his body tense, as if he is ready for a fight. But I stare at him, meeting his eyes with my steely gaze as I tell him, “I’m going to kill my father.”

“You can’t possibly do that.” he shout-whispered to me, “We don’t kill.”

“You used to.”

“Not anymore, or at least I’m trying to.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway, I’m doing it myself.”

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

He gets up, setting his predatory gaze on me. I could feel my chest threatening to beat itself out of my chest. Words and thoughts are lost once he takes a step closer. Then another, and another, all while keeping his gaze on me, until I’m backed against the wall. 

“Because I won’t let you. I had brought you into this mess, I will make sure you will stay safely out of it.”

“I don’t need your permission.” I replied defiantly staring up at him. It is in this moment that I hate our height difference. I’m only up to his eyes and I hate it. But I pretend not to care, as I meet my eyes at him, anger and something strange boiling through my skin. 

“Are you sure about that?” he challenged, moving his nose to the bare crook of my neck, inhaling my scent, then breathing it out, his breath causing goosebumps down my spine. Desire. That’s what that feeling is. Something so foreign, and I hate how he easily ignites it within me. 

He moves his lips on my bare shoulder. I swallow an imaginary lump down my throat, both my hands balled into fists on either side of me, trying to hold back the urge to pull him closer. He seems to sense my discomfort, grinning as he did so, he place his head against mine. 

There were no words exchanged between us, yet we understood each other completely. He tips my chin with one hand, knowing that I’m completely powerless against my own body, my own thoughts when he’s this close to me. His lips, so close to mine. Just one tiny move and there will be nothing else between us. Yet none of us are moving. He’s waiting for my answer. 

He didn’t even have to say it. I already know what he wants to say, his eyes are shining with it. Good, because despite how I similar I feel, I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. Maybe not ever. But one thing I could do, is to let him have a piece, at least for this moment. So I did what most women would do in the presence of Jason Todd, I close the tiny distance between us and place my lips on his. 

Our kiss immediately turns into something more. And just like that, I knew that this wasn’t just another random hook-ups. This is real, there are actually feelings from both parties involved. Feelings that had been repressed and ignored for so long. 

My hands went up to his hair, his hands sliding down my ass, lifting me up. My legs automatically circles his waist, while my hands circles his broad shoulders. I didn’t think I’ve ever felt this safe and protected. 

He slowly dips me on the bed. And as soon as my body touches the soft cushions, his lips leaves mine momentarily as he gazes down at me, with both hands on either sides of my head. He looks breathless, his lips swollen, his hair disheveled and his eyes, the wildest I’ve ever seen. And I caused this. The thought sends tingles down my spine. 

He looks like he’s about to say something, the one phrase that I couldn’t bring myself to receive, not from him. 

“Don’t. Not now.” I whispered, before using my legs to pull him closer to me. He drops lower, closer to me and kisses me back with the frustration I never knew existed. He began tearing off my clothes, so I did the same.


	11. Chapter 11

There is a familiar sound against my ear. A sound that radiates relief and warmth all over my body that I never thought possible. A beating sound, so constant and in time with mine. ‘I could listen to this for the rest of my life’, I thought. 

My eyes immediately open as soon as the thought appears in my head. I could, I could stay like this for the rest of my life. In his arms, with my head against his chest and the duvet protecting us like this. 

But staying this way, being with him and doing what I was told would mean that I would have to live the rest of my life in fear and paranoia. Not knowing when the next attack will come. I had lived with it for all these years, even the ones in London. Not being able to properly sleep at night, not without a few drinks or a few sleeping pills. I can’t live like that anymore. Not even if it means I get to be with…this snoring idiot. 

Regardless of how ridiculous he should’ve looked right now, with his mouth slightly open and snoring, he still looks annoyingly handsome to me. And though I wouldn’t normally let those thoughts run past my brain, it is only in this moment that I let myself be free. What it would like, to have spent the rest of my days with him? Waking up like this next to him every single day? The thoughts cause my lips to automatically form into a smile, a real genuine one. 

It would’ve been nice. It truly would. But I wouldn’t be satisfied, I’d still be hiding somewhere living in constant fear and paranoia. While he’d be in Gotham, watching over the city. I can’t live that way anymore. I’m not their cargo, where they can ship off wherever they see fit. 

I slowly, carefully, rise from the bed. I carefully pick my clothes on the ground, wearing them one by one. And once I found my grey tank top earlier, finding it torn, I drop it on the ground and pick his black shirt instead.

Pulling it over my head, his scent overcoming mine. It looks like an oversized t-shirt, with its hem against my thighs. Oh well, at least he didn’t tear my jeans. Or my underwear. 

I pull on his black leather jacket, since I couldn’t find mine. It looks like an oversized jacket on me, but thankfully, oversized clothing seems to be trending right now. I pull it close, zipping it up slowly, relishing his scent that had found its way through my nostrils. 

I tiptoed around the room, searching for a tiny piece of paper and a pen. Finding a small notepad on the table and a bunch of pens, I pick one of them and wrote, ‘I’m sorry. P.S: I took your clothes’. 

My eyes darted to him, seeing him still sound asleep. The sheets around him a mess. His legs are mindlessly kicking the duvet away, as if he is trying to expose himself in his sleep. 

I force my eyes away from him, looking around the room, at the tall windows. At the night sky that is surpassingly bright tonight, illuminating through the windows. My eyes then goes back to the sleeping figure, with his body laying against the cushions like that, looking every inch like a fallen angel. His white streak of hair, catching the moonlight. I swallow a lump at my throat, knowing what I’m about to give up. 

I stare at the paper on the table, thinking of his reaction when he reads this. I shake my head, ridding myself of the thought before it gets too far. 

I walk towards the door, pausing when my hand touches the doorknob. I look back at him, sending a silent goodbye through my eyes, before turning the doorknob and closing it softly behind me. 

The whole Manor is quiet at this time of night. Everyone must be in the Cave planning something. But before I could make my way through the foyer, I was stopped by Alfred, who’s standing there with his arms crossed, staring at me like a father who busted his child for sneaking out of the house. 

“Alfred…I…uh, I…” I said, but no words come out. How should I break it to him? That I’m not going to run anymore, that I’m leaving and living on my own terms? That I’m planning to kill the Scarecrow?

“Whatever it is, I wish you luck, miss.” he replied, moving aside, letting me go. 

I hesitantly walk past him, looking at him in confusion, standing poised like that. I stop and look back, telling him, “Please tell him not to look for me.”

“I don’t think he will.”

The words hurt. But that is what I need to hear, and Alfred knows that. Additionally, he is also telling the truth. Jason wouldn’t come looking for me, he wouldn’t be making the same mistake twice. 

“Thanks, Alfred.” I said, feeling the edge of my lips twisting. 

“You too.” he replied, giving me a slight nod of acknowledgment. 

With that, I turn away, walk across the foyer and out of the Wayne Manor without a single look back. I’ve got nothing on me, since they had kidnapped me all the way from London. And I couldn’t go back either, since I didn’t know what information I had given away while I was intoxicated. 

But one thing for sure, I’m not leaving Gotham. At least not yet, not until the job’s done. And until then, I’ll probably run into the Red Hood a lot.


	12. Epilogue

One month later:

I’m running through the streets at night, out of breath. My legs are desperately asking me to stop. But I can’t. I have to go on. Just until I lose him. 

I sneak a look behind me, feeling the panic setting inside me when I find that it’s empty. There are not much people out tonight, since it’s in the middle of the city. And it’s some time after midnight, so I doubt anyone sane would venture into one of the most dangerous cities in the world. 

Feeling a presence standing in front of me, I immediately pulled into a stop, but not before my head bumps into a hard chest. Anger starts to boil inside me, replacing the panic. Out of all days, I literally prayed and hoped that I wouldn’t see him today. Or any day. But I wasn’t so lucky, was I? Or I’ve just used up all my luck these past month?

His hands grip at my sides, holding me still. He didn’t even let out a slight groan from the impact of my head against his chest. And I’ve been told many times that I’ve got a thick skull, literally and figuratively of course. 

It seems like me, hitting my head against his armour, hurts me more than I hurt him. In fact, he is chuckling at the sight of me, glaring up at his annoying gorgeous eyes. 

I narrow my eyes at him, but the more anger I give off, he seems to be more pleased to see me. Huh. Turns out my anger turns him on. 

“Get your hands off me!” I threatened. 

“Aaww…you’re so adorable when you’re mad. Like a cute little muffin.” he replied, bringing one hand and tapping my head as if to say ‘good doggie’. 

I immediately slap his hand away. I may not be bulging with muscles, but I could defend myself if I have to. Especially against the one person who has more hold on me than I’d like. 

“Why were you running?” he asked. 

“As a woman, I’m just following my natural instinct. I see the Red Hood chasing after me, I run.”

“Next time, don’t. I tend to run faster when I see you running away from me.” he replied smugly. 

“Ass.” I mutter, kneeing him on his balls, causing him to lose his grip on me to cup his precious sack and double in pain. 

I was about to walk away from him, when I see Nightwing standing behind him, a few steps away, staring at us with his mouth open. With a smile on my face, I wave at him. At least I could stand seeing Dick. With Jason, one must always be careful. One might say he’s cuckoo. 

“Umm…is he okay?” Nightwing asked, pointing at him. 

“Were you here all along?” I asked back. 

“I just got here. Red Hood called for me, telling me he needed back-up. I didn’t know he was just chasing after you.” 

Oh, what did he mean by that? But something else from what he said distracts me. “Why would the Red Hood call for you?” Unless…

My feet suddenly flies to the ground, an arm lifting me from my waist. I begin to shout, but my mouth was then covered by a hand. I would normally bite it, but the dumbass is wearing a glove so I can’t do anything but struggle against his hold. 

My arms are flailing around, trying elbow him on his guts. My legs are struggling to find something of him to kick on. Anywhere is fine. Anywhere that would get me out of his hold. But being the skilled fighter that he is, Jason just expertly twist and lugs me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 

My ass is hanging on the air. Let me repeat that. MY ASS IS HANGING ON THE AIR. Thank goodness, I was wearing pants. If I was wearing a dress or a skirt, which is something highly unlike especially at a night like this, he’d be dead by the time I get out of his hold. 

If only I could scream his name. His real full name. I would do it, I really would, if Nightwing is not standing there smiling at us. Maybe these two bitches deserve it. 

“RED HOOD PUT ME DOWN, YOU FUCK!” I shouted, followed by a string of profanities that caused both men to freeze in shock. 

Once that shock was subsided, and these two made their way through the street, with me expressly listing ways to kill them in the most explicit detail, Jason finally say, “No.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘no’?! WHEN I SAY PUT ME DOWN, YOU PUT ME DOWN YOU DUMBASS! IF YOU LOVE THOSE PRECIOUS BALLS AND THE TRUNK ATTACHED TO IT YOU BETTER PUT ME DOWN!”

“Meh, that’s not what you call it last month.” he replied, as if it’s the most normal thing to say. Nightwing, offering no help to a distressed lady, burst out laughing. He laughs so hard, I’m pretty sure some of my blood vessels burst out of anger. 

“You slept with her?! And she left you?! Ouch.” Nightwing said. 

I stop struggling, and I could feel Jason suddenly tensing. We both knew that, that wasn’t the reason I left. I didn’t leave because he’s terrible in bed, though…never mind. Best not to go there. And sensing the change of air between us three, Nightwing instinctively walk faster, leaving us alone. Good. 

Anyways, I left because I don’t think there is a future for us. There’s definitely no future for me there. I don’t see myself as a crime-fighting vigilante like them. I don’t give a shit for justice. Justice is just a dream. All I want is to rid the one person that poses a danger to my life, my father. When he’s gone, and he will, only then can I move on. Only then I can, perhaps, contemplate a future for us. 

“Why are you looking for me?” I asked. 

“I’m not going to tell Batman this. Not even Nightwing, though I know everyone will find out eventually. But we’ve caught your father.”

“So?” I asked, despite knowing the answer. I could feel my heart beating against my chest as I wait for his answer. 

“I’m letting you kill him.”

“Put me down, please.” I pleaded. 

“Do you promise not to run?”  
“Why would I, now?”

He puts me down gently. I comb my fingers through my hair, as he looks at me. No, he’s gazing. As if he’s trying to commit every single part of my face into his mind. 

“What, then? What will happen after I end it?” I asked him, wanting to know. 

“You’ll be somewhere safe alone, and move on.”

“And?” I asked, taking a step closer, instinctively brushing a strand of his silver hair away from his face. 

“And I’ll find you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know that I'm not following the plot from the comics or anything. I'm just making my own, through my own imagination. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story. Thanks for reading. :)


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